Safety Planning
Making a safety plan involves identifying the steps you can take to increase your safety and helps to prepare you (and your children) in advance for the possibility of further violence.
If you need assistance in creating a Safety Plan, please contact our office and we will gladly help.
Click here to download or print a PDF of This Safety Plan (PDF 280 KB)
Creating a Safety Plan
When creating a safety plan it is important to remember that:
Although you cannot control your partner’s violence, it may be possible to increase your own safety and that of your children.
- A safety plan is needed whenever the possibility of abuse is identified
- This safety plan information is designed for actions that you can make
- Abusive situations and risk factors change quickly
- It is important to become familiar with and to review and/or revise your safety plan regularly
You will be provided with many suggestions and ideas that we hope will be helpful.
- Do not try to do everything right away
- Take it a step at a time
- Start with the ideas that seem most practical to you
Getting Ready: The following five steps focus on things that you can do in advance to be better prepared in case you have to quickly leave an abusive situation.
1. Photocopy the following and store in a safe place away from the originals: (e.g. in a friend’s or family member’s home, with your lawyer, safety deposit box, etc.)
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__Passports
__Birth Certificate
__Immigration papers
__Driver’s license
__Social insurance
card
__ATM cards
__Credit cards
__Bank books
__Financial information
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__Health cards
__List of medications
__Prescriptions
__Medical records
__Marriage certificates
__Divorce papers
__Custody documents
__Court orders
__Restraining orders
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__Vaccination records
__School records
__Lease/rental agreements
__Vehicle registration
__House deed
__Pay stubs
__Mortgage papers
__Address/telephone book
__Picture of spouse/partner
__Other________________ |
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2. Keep all of the cards you use in your wallet:
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__Social insurance card
__Drivers license |
__Banking cards
__Birth certificate |
__Credit cards
__Health cards
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3. Keep your purse handy with the following:
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__Cash (hidden)
__Emergency numbers
__Recent picture of spouse/ partner |
__Wallet
__Car/office/house keys
__Cheque book
__Car insurance |
__Car registration
__Car insurance
__Address/telephone book
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Open a bank account in your own name and arrange that no bank statements be sent to your home address or phone calls be made to your home phone number. Save and set aside as much money as you can.
4. Keep the following items handy or, better still, at a friend’s or family member's home:
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__Emergency
suitcase with immediate needs
__An extra purse with
extra set of keys, etc. (see ‘step 3’ above)
__Jewelry
__Items of sentimental value like photos
__Special toys, comforts for children
__A list of other items you would like to take if you get a chance to come back later
5. Planning at Home
If you
are living with your abusive partner:
__Plan
your emergency exits
__Plan and rehearse the steps
you will take if you need to leave quickly and learn them well
__Plan where you go if you do leave – have a back-up plan (even if you
do not think you will need to)
__Create a telephone list with numbers of local police, nearest shelter, assaulted women’s help line, crisis friends (keep hidden in a safe place)
__Consider getting a cell phone and pre-program numbers of people to call
__Be careful of the options on your telephone
(e.g. last number dialed, lists of callers)
__Try to predict the next likely violent episode and make plans for your children to stay at friends, family, etc. (is there a cycle? e.g. pay day, holidays, full moon etc.)
__Make arrangements with a friend or a family member to look after your pets
Always Remember: The most dangerous time is when you leave.
__Create a plan to leave while your abusive partner is away or at work
__Think about using your doctor or dentist appointments, or driving the children to or from school as an opportunity to leave safely
If you are not living with your abusive partner/spouse:
__Change the locks on the doors and windows, install a peephole in
the door
__Change the locks on your garage and mailbox
__Teach your children to tell you if someone is at the door and not to answer the door themselves
__Keep your restraining order near you at all times
__Make sure that the school, day care, and police have a copy of all court orders including restraining orders, custody access orders as well as a picture of
your partner
__If possible, try to predict the next likely violent incident and be prepared
__Have your telephone number unpublished as it is harder to track
__Block your number when calling out
__Consider getting a cell phone and pre-program with numbers of people to call
__Be aware of your surroundings – If you live in an apartment check before getting on and off elevators
__Tell your neighbours that you would like them to call the police if they hear a fight or screaming in your home
__Tell people who take care of your children which people have permission to pick up your children
__Ask your neighbours to look after your children in an emergency
Safety During an Explosive Incident
You cannot always avoid violent incidents. However, in order to increase your safety keep the following in mind:
__Remind yourself that you have an Emergency Safety Plan, and go over it in your mind
__Start to position yourself to get
to a phone so you can call 911, or get out quickly if necessary
__If an argument seems unavoidable, try to have it in a room or area that has access to an exit. Avoid the bathroom, kitchen, garage, rooms without access or anywhere near weapons
__Use your judgment and intuition – if the situation is very serious, you can agree with your partner or give him/her what they want to calm them down. You have to protect yourself until you are not in danger
__Make as much noise as possible (set off the fire alarm, break things, turn up the stereo or TV) so your neighbours will hear and call the police
__Practice how to get out of your home safely. Identify which doors, windows, elevator, or stairs would be safe and easily accessed
__Have a packed bag ready. Keep it in a secret but accessible place in order to leave quickly
__Identify a neighbour you can tell to call the police if they hear a disturbance coming from your home
__Make a code word to use with your children, family, friends and/or neighbours when you need the police to be called
__Decide on a plan for where you will go if you have to leave home (even if you do not think that you will need to) – for instance, somewhere that is open 24/7 like the hospital or police station
__If the situation is very dangerous, use your instincts and judgment to keep yourself safe. Call the police as soon as it is safe to do so. You can obtain a restraining order.
You have the right not to be abused in your relationship, either physical, emotionally, or sexually!
Your Safety and Emotional Health
__If you are thinking of returning to a potentially abusive situation, discuss an alternative plan with someone you trust
__If you have to communicate with your partner, determine the safest way to do so
__Have positive thoughts about yourself and be assertive with others about your needs
__Learn about the law and your rights
__Talk to a counsellor, family doctor or anyone who has training to work with women who are in abusive relationships
__Collect resources and pamphlets, read books regarding Woman Abuse
Safety for Women in Special Circumstances
(Rural Women, Women with Disabilities, Immigrant Women)
__If you cannot leave your home because of disabilities, contact a shelter or the police to make arrangements for transportation
__If you require a translator,contact the shelter or a counsellor to arrange one
__If the number to a shelter or to a counsellor is long distance, look for a toll-free number or try calling collect
Safety in Your Vehicle
__Plan your routes in advance and determine where you could go if you need help
__Make note of where the nearest police, fire stations and hospitals are when you are travelling
__If you cannot get out of your vehicle safely when you arrive at one of the above, stay in the vehicle sound the horn and flash your lights until someone comes out
__Keep a “CALL THE POLICE” sign in your car
__Let someone know when you are expected
A Safety Plan for Your Child/Children
Personal safety and safety planning is extremely important for children who are living in a home where abuse occurs.
In creating a child’s safety plan it is important to remember that:
- The plan is designed to help you teach your children some basic safety planning
- Always try to take your children with you or make arrangements to leave them with someone safe
- The plan is based on the belief that the most important thing a child can do for their mother is to keep themselves safe
- The child cannot prevent or stop the abuse, nor is it their fault
- Children cannot protect their mother, although they often try by distracting the abuser or directly interfering in the abusive episode
It is important to become familiar with and to review and/or revise the safety plan regularly.
Teach your child:
__How to keep themselves safe
__To role-play safety plans
__Not to come into the room where the danger is
__Where to run to if necessary (e.g. room in the house, to a trusted neighbour, etc.)
__A ‘secret’ word that you will use to let them know that they should go directly to the safe room to call the police
__Another ‘secret’ word that tells them to leave the house immediately and go directly to a pre-arranged neighbour or friend (and the safest route to get there)
__That they do not need money to dial 911 from a pay phone
__That they do not need money to make a collect call from a pay phone (collect calls can be made for local calls as well)
__How to call the police (have the number posted in the safe room if 911 is not available)
__Practice what will happen if they call the police (see below)
Child dials 911
Operator will answer and say “police, fire or ambulance”
Child will say:
I need the police.
My name is _________________.
I am _______ years old.
I need help. Send the police.
Someone is hurting my mom.
The address is _______________.
My phone number is ___________.
It is important to remember and to teach your child to leave the phone off the hook after the call to police. The police could try to call back which could increase the danger.
Return to
YWCA Resources in Peterborough City
and County
or
YWCA Resources in Haliburton County
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