Ways to Support Her

Here are some of the ways you can help when you recognize the warning signs of abuse:

• Talk to her about what you see and assure her that you are concerned. Tell her you believe her and that it is not her fault.
• Encourage her not to confront her partner if she is planning to leave. Her safety must be protected.
• Offer to provide childcare while she seeks help.
• Encourage her to pack a small bag with important items and keep it stored at your home in case she needs it.
• Know that you  or she can call the YWCA Toll Free Crisis Line: 1-800-461-7656 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.

If she denies the abuse:

• Assure her she can talk to you any time.
• Don't become angry or frustrated with her decisions. It is important to understand that she may be afraid or not ready to take the next steps.
• Try to understand why she might be having difficulty getting help. She may feel ashamed.
• Offer to go with her if she needs additional information or support.
• If she has children, let her know gently that you are concerned about her and her children's safety and emotional well-being. She may be more willing to recognize her situation if she recognizes her children may also be in danger.

Here are some concerns you may have about whether you should help:

Points of Concern	Points to Consider
You feel it's none of your business	It could be a matter of life or death. Violence is everyone's business.
You don't know what to say	Saying you care and are concerned is a good start
You might make things worse	Doing nothing could make things worse
It's not serious enough to involve the police	Police are trained to respond and utilize other resources
You are afraid his violence will turn to you or your family	Speak to her alone. Let the police know if you receive threats
You think she doesn't really want to leave because she keeps coming back	She may not have had the support she needed
You are afraid she will become angry with you	Maybe, but she will know you care
You feel that both partners are your friends	One friend is being abused and lives in fear
You believe that if she wanted help, she would ask for help	She may be too afraid and ashamed to ask for help
You think it is a private matter	It isn't when someone is being hurt

 

Always keep yourself safe. Don't get in the middle of an assault.

Everyone in the community has a role to play in helping to prevent woman abuse.
In an emergency, call the police.
For information regarding how the YWCA may be able to help, call 1-800-461-7656.

Adapted from Neighbours, Friends and Family